Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Hinamori has some embarrassing videos of Hitsugaya that she is planning to show at a Woman's Association meeting. Hitsugaya will do anything to get them back: "Hand it over or the underwear gets it!"
1. The Video Tape

Momo let out a squeal of excitement as she stared at the video tapes that were currently scattered across her bed.

Oh it was perfect. What they had on them was so cute that it had made her want to jump up and down while squealing.

Soon everyone in the woman's association would be joining her in doing this! She knew it for sure - who wouldn't?

Shiro-chan was such a little cutie!

Momo sighed, sobering slightly. She missed those days immensely.

"Peachy-chan? Whatcha doing?"

Momo looked up to see Yachiru standing in the doorway, curiosity shining in her eyes.

Momo smiled.

"Yachiru, why don't you look at this?" she asked, gesturing for the younger girl to come over. Complying, Yachiru walked over to the bed.

* * *

><p>Hitsugaya sighed and closed his eyes.<p>

It had been a long day and the stack of paper work on his desk had been especially high. Stretching his arms, he got up, deciding to take a short walk outside before heading back to his office to complete - sigh - more paper work.

Half way through his walk, he decided to pay a quick visit to Hinamori. It had been a while since he had last seen his childhood friend.

He walked to her office.

"Captain" one of the lower ranking shinigami from 5th division greeted him, when he walked through the door.

"Do you know where Hinamori is?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Lieutenant Hinamori is in her room, sir" the shinigami answered. Hitsugaya nodded to him and walked out the door.

As he neared Hinamori's room his ears perked up. Was that...cooing?

What on earth was Hinamori doing?

Rounding the corner, he tapped on Hinamori's door. No answer. However, the sound of cooing once again met his ears. From what he could tell there were too people in the room...Lieutenant Kusajishi? What was she doing there? Hitsugaya's brow furrowed and he pushed open the door and walked inside.

His eyes immediately widened in horror.

Hinamori and Yachiru were sitting on the floor in front of a television and playing on the television was one of the most horrific memories in Hitsugaya's long life...

He, at the tender age of six years old (physically anyway) was standing on the kitchen table, stark naked, yelling some odd chant and dancing around in a circle. Toshiro's cheeks reddened in mollification - where had Hinamori gotten that video from? He had been sure that he had thrown it in the river years ago!

Hitsugaya had always prided himself on his intelligence. However, he hadn't always been like this. Like any child, he had been quite...naive during his childhood. He had also despised his looks.

So, when two of the older children in his village had told him that following a certain ritual would change his hair colour...he had believed them.

And it had led to the scene currently being played in front of his eyes.

Hinamori, hearing Hitsugaya's horrified gasp from behind her, spun around.

"Shiro-chan!" she gasped, using the hated nickname. "Isn't it just adorable."

She was rewarded with a look of utter horror.

"Snowy-chan!" Yachiru squealed. "Your _soooooooooooo _cute!"

Hitsugaya took a deep breath.

"Hinamori" Hitsugaya whispered. "Turn that off. Now."

Hinamori complied.

Taking a deep breath, Hitsugaya stepped out of the room. Hinamori followed, along with Yachiru.

Once they had gotten out of the room, Hitsugaya spun around to face Hinamori.

"Get rid of that as soon as possible" he growled.

Hinamori looked heart-broken.

"But it's so -"

"HINAMORI!" Hitsugaya yelled. "This is not a debatable issue! You will throw that tape away!"

Hinamori's expression faltered and she lowered her gaze.

"Fine" she murmured. She looked up, hopefully. "Can't I at least keep it 'till the end of today?"

Hitsugaya opened his mouth to say no, but was cut of by the look on Hinamori's face. Ever since Hinamori had woken up from her coma, he had found it hard to refuse her anything - especially when she gave him _that _look.

He inwardly groaned.

"Fine" he muttered. "You can keep it until this evening - then you need to hand it over to _me _so I can throw it out!"

Hinamori nodded her head, happily and leaned forward to give Hitsugaya a quick hug.

"Thank you so much Shiro-chan!" she squealed.

When she was gone, Hitsugaya leaned against the wall and sighed.

"Why do I feel that I've just made a huge mistake?"

"Because she's planning on showing it to the woman's association this evening" Yachiru, who was still there, chirped.

Hitsugaya froze and then spun around to face the pink haired child.

_"What?" _he choked out. Yachiru beamed.

"You don't have anything to worry about Snowy-chan - everyone'll love you!"

Hitsugaya let out a moan as his body slid down the wall.

"Snowy-chan?"

"I'm doomed" he whispered, closing his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**First chapters done. This is my first Bleach fic, so I'm not sure how I did - sorry if the characters were too OOC. **

**This story won't be too long. It'll probably be a two-shot or have about three chapters in it...I highly doubt it'll go longer than that.**


	2. Enter the Underwear

"You need to help me."

Hitsugaya had finally managed to calm himself enough to pick himself of the floor and put back his stoic mask.

Yachiru hummed and twirled from side to side.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because this is all your fault!" he snapped. "If you had just told me _why _Hinamori wanted to keep these videos until the end of today, I would have said no to her!"

"I did" Yachiru pointed out.

"_Before _I agreed!" he retorted, angrily. "Honestly you -" he took a deep breath. "Look just...help me."

"Why can't you do it yourself?" Yachiru questioned.

That was a good question - why couldn't he do it himself? Hitsugaya frowned then shrugged his shoulders angrily.

"Just do it."

* * *

><p>"Snowy-chan this is a <em>baaaaaaaaaaaad <em>idea" Yachiru sang, as the two walked into Hinamori's bedroom.

"No it isn't" Hitsugaya sighed. "All we need to do is grab the videos and go."

"Why do you need me for this?" Yachiru asked.

"I already told you."

"You never gave me a reason!" Yachiru protested.

"You don't need one" Hitsugaya countered.

"Yes I do!"

"Could we not stand around arguing? Hinamori could be back any moment - oh. Hinamori. Hi."

Turning around, with a guilty look on his face, Hitsugaya waved weakly at Hinamori who was standing in the doorway.

"Shiro-chan" Hinamori said, narrowing her eyes. "What are you doing in my room."

"Well" Hitsugaya said, using his normal, brisk tone, and silently hoping for the best. "Yachiru left her...candy...in your room..."

"No I didn't" the pink haired girl interrupted. Hitsugaya ignored her.

"...and wouldn't stop nagging me until I got it for her."

"But that wasn't the way it went!" Yachiru protested.

"Quiet" Hitsugaya hissed.

"You were looking for the videos weren't you?" Hinamori asked.

Hitsugaya gulped.

"Well..."

"Shiro-chan!" Hinamori yelled. "We had a deal!"

"Well you never told me that you planned to show this at a _woman's association meeting!" _Hitsugaya snapped.

"But you promised me!" Hinamori sounded outraged. "Don't tell me you lied!"

She gave him a wide eyed look and he narrowed his eyes angrily. No, no way! He wasn't falling for _that _again!

"Hand over the videos, Hinamori!" he yelled.

"No!" she snapped. "Go away, Shiro-chan!"

"Hinamori -"

"I SAID NO!"

Hitsugaya sighed and glared at the floor for a moment. Then, forcing the usual stoic mask onto his face, he nodded his head and pulled Yachiru outside.

"Alright then" he said, shutting the door behind him.

_'Don't underestimate me Hinamori' _Hitsugaya thought. _'I'm not giving up that easily.'_

* * *

><p>"Snowy-chan, is this really a good idea?"<p>

Hitsugaya gave a loud sigh and turned to face Yachiru.

"Hinamori won't catch us this time. I saw her in her office - she has _stacks _of paper work to complete. Courtesy of me, of course."

Yachiru looked taken aback.

"Yes that's right" Hitsugaya smirked. "I simply...transferred some of my paper work into her office..."

"You can do that?" an odd glint appeared in Yachiru's eyes.

"Off course you can" Hitsugaya replied. "Discreetly" he added.

Little did he know that he was only feeding fuel to the fire...in other words, giving ideas to Yachiru who, to put it simply, you should never give ideas to.

They stepped into Hinamori's room for the third time that day.

"Guard the entrance" Hitsugaya whispered to Yachiru. She nodded her head.

Yachiru walked back outside and leaned against the wall. Hitsugaya shut the door softly behind him and looked around the room.

He let out a groan. Hinamori had obviously anticipated that something like this would happen...she had hidden the video tapes.

_'Where did she keep them?'_

He looked around the room but could not see them anywhere. He sighed in frustration: it looked like he would have to search the room from floor to ceiling.

* * *

><p>One hour later, Hitsugaya leaned against the wall, breathing in frustration. He had almost searched through every place possible - and he still hadn't found the video!<p>

_'Where is it?'_

There was only one more place it could possibly be, and that was the chest of drawers in the corner. Walking over to it, he bent down and opened up the first drawer.

_Nothing._

He sighed and closed it. He opened the second one up.

_Nothing._

This only left the third drawer. Nervously Toshiro pulled it open and then squeezed his eyes shut at what he saw.

Underwear. There was underwear _everywhere._

He was looking at Hinamori Momo's underwear closet.

Horrible thoughts ran through his mind. He did _not _want to be looking at this - for godsake, Hinamori was like a sister to him!

However, these thoughts vanished from his mind when he caught site of something, wrapped in a pair of bright pink underwear.

_The video tape._

For a minute everything seemed to freeze. Then, taking a deep breath, Hitsugaya reached out to grab it. His hand brushed the underwear and he silently shuddered. Then, screwing up his courage, he began to unravel the video tape from the fabric.

_"What are you doing?"_

Hitsugaya was so shocked that he almost dropped the video tape. Turning around, his face whitened in horror - Hinamori was standing in the doorway.

And boy, did she look mad.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**Once again, sorry for any OOCness. I try my best, honestly!**


	3. Desperation Takes Over

Yachiru hummed as she reached down to pick up the discarded piece of candy.

She knew that Snowy-chan had asked her to guard the door but this piece of candy had just been sitting on the floor! She couldn't just ignore it!

It wasn't as if Peachy-chan would just show up while she was gone...

_"What are you doing?"_

Oh. Oh no...that wasn't good.

* * *

><p>"Hinamori!" Hitsugaya gasped. "It isn't how it looks!"<p>

"YOU WERE LOOKING THROUGH MY UNDERWEAR!" Hinamori yelled. Hitsugaya gulped.

At that very moment Yachiru came barrelling through the door.

"You!" Hitsugaya yelled. "I told you to guard the door!"

"Yachiru!" Hinamori shrieked. "How could you!"

Hinamori's eyes were burning with rage. Yachiru, who had never seen the girl like this, shuddered.

"Run Snowy-chan!" she called out. Hinamori rounded on Hitsugaya.

"I want the video tape!" she shrieked.

"No!" Hitsugaya snapped.

"Run!" yelled Yachiru.

Hitsugaya complied.

He honestly had no idea what possessedhim to do so. But he knew that if he stayed in the room, Hinamori would eventually get of the video tape. He couldn't allow that to happen.

As he ran down a flight of steps, he recieved some odd looks from some passing shinigami. Hitsugaya supposed that, seeing a Captain sprinting as fast as he could and clutching a video tape was a pretty odd sight...especially since the Captain was him...

_The video tape was wrapped in woman's underwear._

This thought brought him to an abrupt stop.

"Snowy-chan! Run! Peachy-chan's gaining on us!" Yachiru yelled. Hitsugaya however gaped at the thing in his hand.

Suddenly something hard landed on top of him. Hinamori!

Wow. She must have been really made if she was willing to _tackle him!_

Hinamori made a grab for the underwear-wrapped-video tape. Her hand latched onto it but Hitsugaya didn't let go. The two struggled - it was like a game of tug-the-rope.

"Ha!" Hinamori exclaimed, pulling back her hand to reveal the video tape. Hitsugaya's brow furrowed - then what was he holding?

_The underwear._

Hinamori saw it at the same time he did.

"My underwear!" she gasped.

Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes and an idea came to him. He didn't like it one bit but, then, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He pulled his zanpaktou of his back.

"Hand it over or the underwear gets it" he threatened, holding the tip of the sword against the soft pink material. Hinamori paled.

"No!" she gasped. "You can't do that Shiro-chan - it's my favourite pair!"

"The video tape!" he ordered. The girl shook her head, her eyes still wide.

"Then I suppose you must not care too much about this underwear" the blade jerked forward a little. A bit of the lace on the edge of it was chopped off and went falling to the ground.

"NO!" Hinamori cried. "Not the lace! It's one of the best parts!"

Hitsugaya smirked. He knew he was being cruel but, godammit, he needed that video tape back!

He pulled back the sword a bit and then jammed it against a peach that had been hand-stitched onto the underwear.

"What about this then?"

"No, no!" Hinamori gasped. "That's just as important as the lace!"

Hitsugaya jammed the sword against the peach. Hinamori wailed.

Unknownst to them, a group of people had been watching the happenings the entire time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**So I decided to add an extra chapter onto this...the next one will be the last.**

**Review please.**


	4. The Spectators

"Stupid Strawberry!"

"Piss of Renji!"

"What's wrong, can't think of a better insult than that?"

"Can't think of anything better to do than mock me?"

"Can't think of anything better to say than accuse me of mocking you?"

"I'm not _accusing _you of mocking me because you _are _mocking me!"

"CAN IT YOU TWO!"

Ichigo and Renji clamped their mouths shut and turned to face the fuming girl beside them.

"Rukia -" Ichigo started, but she cut him off.

"No Ichigo!" she snapped. "I don't want to here it. I've been listening to you two argue for the past half hour and it's driving me CRAZY!" the last word echoed around the deserted corridor for a moment.

Ichigo opened his mouth to defend himself at the exact same moment Renji did - however the sound of hurried footsteps stopped them both abruptly.

"Is that Toshiro?" Ichigo asked in surprise, when the owner of the footsteps emerged.

"It is" Rukia confirmed, frowning slightly. "He looks worried - do you think somethings up?"

Ichigo opened his mouth to call out to him but the sound of _more _footsteps cut him off yet again.

This time Hinamori came into view, her face a mask of utter rage.

"Geez, Momo looks mad" Renji stated.

"Snowy-chan! Run! Peachy-chan's gaining on us!" yelled a voice that, Ichigo realised, belonged to Yachiru. The small girl had come into view, and was waving frantically at the small taicho who seemed shell-shocked and was staring at something in his hand.

Suddenly Hinamori did something that shocked them all - she tacked Toshiro to the ground.

"What the hell?" Renji cried, while Rukia gasped in shock, covering her mouth with one hand.

Ichigo, Renji and Rukia watched, stunned, as Hinamori made a grab for the thing in Toshiro's hand. Her hand latched onto it but Toshiro refused to let go, a determined look blazing in his teal eyes.

_'What the hell is so important that Hinamori would _tackle _Toshiro to get it?' _Ichigo thought, slightly amazed as he watched the two roll around on the floor like a pair of territorial animals.

"HA!" Hinamori cried, reeling back and clutching something in her hand.

_'A video tape?' _Ichigo thought, blinking rapidly. What was so important about a...?

Renji's voice broke his line of thought.

"Is he holding what I think he's holding?"

"Oh my God" Rukia gasped. Frowning, Ichigo followed their line of vision - and gaped.

Toshiro - Mr. Call-Me-Captain, Sir I'm-No-Child-Even-Though-I-Look-Like-One, Captain Call-Me-By-My-First-Name-And-I'll-Freeze-Your-Balls - was holding underwear. Pink, frilly, clearly female underwear.

"My Underwear!"

_Hinamori's underwear!_

"This...this has to be some sort of whacked up dream" muttered Renji, blinking with shock. "That or the Captain's drunk..."

Ichigo could only nod numbly, and watch as Toshiro pulled his zanpaktou from his back and - _what the hell was he doing now?_

"Hand it over or the underwear gets it."

Apparently he had decided that threatening Hinamori's underwear was a good idea.

"No!" wailed Hinamori. "You can't do that Shiro-Chan...it's my favourite pair!"

"This is too weird" groaned Renji.

"Tell me about it" Rukia agreed. "I don't think I'll ever get this out of my head - Captain Hitsugaya clutching a pair of pink panties and threatening them with his zanpaktou. This is going to be one of those memories that you look back at when your old and wrinkly and think: "Wow. Did that really happen?"

"I wish I had a camera" was Ichigo's only reply.

Suddenly he realised that the arguing had stopped - and then he realise why.

Toshiro and Hinamori were staring right at him.

* * *

><p>Originally Hitsugaya had thought that this day could not get any worse - he was wrong. Because apparently, the universe was out to get him.<p>

"YOU!" he yelled, pointing his zanpaktou at Yachiru. "Why didn't you tell me they were here?"

"I was watching the fight" was the only reply he got. Toshiro saw red.

"I...I can't believe...you...how dare you..." a vein popped on his forehead.

"Snowy-chan you look funny!" giggled Yachiru.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" screamed Hitsugaya, dropping the underwear in his fury. "First you forget to tell me that Hinamori is in the bedroom _-twice - _then you ruin my entire plan by not following one order - and now this!"

He took a deep breath and whirled on Ichigo, Rukia and Renji.

"Kurosaki!" he bellowed. "What are you staring at?"

"Erm..." he orange haired boy said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I have to ask...what was the point of all that if you were just going to let her walk off?"

Hitsugaya sweat dropped.

"What?"

"Well...you do realise that Hinamori walked off with the underwear and the video tape ages ago right...around the time you started yelling at Yachiru."

Hitsugaya was speechless.

"I...I..." he turned to Yachiru. "You didn't say anything..."

"It's rude to interupt when people are talking" the girl replied, cheerily.

* * *

><p>"Alright now. I'm telling you to do one simple thing for me. Just <em>one thing. <em>It will not take a lot of brain power - just walk in there and get the tape, then walk back out and place it in my hand. That's all you need to do - do you understand?"

Yachiru and Hitsugaya now stood outside the doors leading to the latest Woman's Association Meeting. Hitsugaya had his hands on Yachiru's shoulders and the expression on his face was one only a truly desperate man could have.

"Okay!" chirped Yachiru, opening the doors and stepping inside.

Hitsugaya really should have learnt his lesson the first time.

* * *

><p>When the meeting had ended, laughter immidiently met his ears.<p>

Hitsugaya shifted nervously, looking through the crowd of women for Yachiru. His eyes met Hinamori's and he didn't like the smug look on her face at all.

"So cute!" someone squealed.

"Dancing like that completely nude" snickered someone else.

Hitsugaya paled.

Yes, he really should not have trusted Yachiru Kusajishi on such an important matter.

"It's disgusting" grumbled Soifon.

"Oh come on, you have to admit it was utterly adorable!" Nanao retorted.

"Hmm...well..." Soifon hesitated before letting out a girlish giggle. Hitsugaya sweat dropped - good lord!

"Hey there's the little star right now!" cried someone else.

"Captain Hitsugaya! What a stunning performance!" cooed yet another female voice. Hitsugaya was starting to feel claustrophobic. Nervously his eyes flittered across the crowd, again catching the look on Hinamori's face. He swallowed and looked away. That expression would haunt his nightmares.

"YOU!" he yelled, catching site of Yachiru. "Can't you do anything right? Are you _completely _useless?"

"Nope" Yachiru replied, depositing the video tape in his hands. "You told me to get you the video tape - you just didn't say when! But don't worry, the Woman's Association loved you! In fact their asking for copies - Peachy-chan said she'd make some by the way - so that they could show their divisions!"

Yachiru beamed at him.

Hitsugaya just stood as still as a statue for a moment. Then he let out an uncharacteristic wail and took of in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>As he passed Renji, Ichigo and Rukia yet again, all three squinted at his hands.<p>

"No underwear this time" Renji confirmed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**Did you like this fic? It's over now, I hope it was good.**

**Review please.**


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